Gadgets that would make a geek look sexy

By Mario Ramirez, MD
Philippine Daily Inquirer

Beats by Dr. Dre

Nothing would make a geek look Coolie Doolies like a pair of leet headphones. Lebron James handed out a pair of Beats to each and every member of the Cavaliers, never mind if each headphone costs around $200.

Kobe Bryant uses a purple and gold Beats. Paris Hilton digs a white one. So forget about SkullCandy, 3oWz—that’s so Jologs poH. I guarantee you’d look hot in this pair of heads even while bopping your head and listening to “It’s Raining Men.” So, be prepared to get laxadated. Available in the Philippines at http://www.eleksis.com/

Colorwear Stealth Macbook Pro

The Stealth MBP is one of those must-have gadgets that’s near impossible to obtain. Even if you were to sell one of your kidneys, that wouldn’t guarantee you a shot at getting one. Apart from the $5,999 price tag, you’ll have to pull a lot of strings just to get up the rung of the long waiting list. It’s the Enzo Ferrari of MacBook Pros. If you’re a geek and you whip out this ultra rare MBPs, I’m pretty sure girls will be swooning over you in no time. Just watch out for spilled coffee, drooling babes and the Salisi Gang out to snatch your precious Stealth.

The New Apple iPad

No self-respecting geek would be caught reading a book, much more lugging around tons of books in his backpack. That’s just too lamo. Lets face it, the Kindle, or Kindle2 are coolies, but they’re just not nubile enough as an ebook reader. Geeks need something garish and eye catching. Something that shouts, “You don’t have this ... but I do!” So the only gadget that would make a geek ooze with sultriness is the Apple iPad. Why? Because it’s thin enough to use as a fan to cool the hotness off of you and drive the point home as to how sexy you really are. Forget that it doesn’t support Flash, you really don’t need to watch porn in public anyway. Remember you’re a sexy geek not a perv. Also, don’t mind the fact that it does not have a physical keyboard, making it impossible for you to complete your literary work. And besides, who says it’s for work? It’s there only to make you look slinky—consider it the tech equivalent of having a trophy girlfriend. So I suggest you get one now before everyone joins the bandwagon.

Voltaic Solar Backpack

This Generator Backpack does not only ooze with sensuality, it also shouts, “I’m sexy and eco-friendly.” For $299, the backpack will make it worth your while, even when you’re running on Buendia Avenue trying to catch a bus to Manila as your armpits go all slimy with sweat.

With the pack covering your back, you may just get hot enough to allow you to heat up the solar panels even on a cloudy day. That in itself may be enough to power/charge your laptops, music players, Ebook readers, vibrators and other electronic gadgets that would fit in it’s spacious well padded compartment.

So why is it sexy? Well because having an advocacy is tantalizing. People dig guys with a passionate advocacy. So even if all your gadgets would cost you tens of thousands of pesos on electricity alone, wearing this Solar Backpack would let other people know that you do care for the environment. How coolafied is that?

Smart EV

The Segway may be the closest thing there is to “sex on wheels.” It’s a titch sexier than a moped. If you want to look like Cool Beans and make some heads turn your way as you move from one Starbuck’s outlet to another, the only way to do so is through a $21,999 Smart electric vehicle. It runs for about 71 miles per charge—it takes 5 hours to fully charge the EV. That’s equivalent to 300 miles per gallon. With the Smart EV, you’ve graduated from being a mere eco-friendly geek to an eco-warrior, bringing passionate advocacy to the next level. Just try not to get caught between a bus and a dump truck—that would be so uncool.